Let’s be frank no one knows what your red flags are, even if you mention them here and there. Most of the times they don’t even listen carefully. It’s not their fault the average attention life span has spiraled down to less than 8 seconds. That is one second less than notoriously ill-focused goldfish, according to a study from Microsoft published in Time Magazine. So creating boundaries take time, and it is your job to do so in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I remember clearly that how much I struggled for keeping my boundaries with my immediate family members back then. It wasn’t until after I graduated from college and living on my own for a couple of years, that I started having the guts to stand up for myself. living with many different roommates with complex backgrounds also helped me to set those boundaries.
Be Sure About Your Limits
First, you have to understand that what is your physical, and emotional limits, in order to set those boundaries. Asking questions might also help . Give them a scale from 1 to 10 (one for No Problemo to something makes you really uncomfortable or stressed out for number ten).
Give Yourself The Right To Speak Up
It doesn’t matter how important the person is in your life. That could be your sensitive mom or your boss. Having the courage to stand up for yourself is not only curtail to maintain a healthy relationship but also shows how self-respected you are.
Set the tone
You know how precise you should be in your communication with someone who crosses the line. If the person is dear to you, Just tell them how you feel, when they cross the line. But don’t assume they’ll get that on the first attempt. Repetition is necessary, you need to be patient about the continuum of the same behavior.
Change And Modify
You need to study your boundaries from time to time. As we grow up everything is changing from our clothing measurements to our beliefs. Sometimes we let go of beliefs that don’t serve us anymore. So we might as well reconsidering detachment from our past boundaries. This is usually related to the spiritual beliefs but also applicable to other types of boundaries too.
Culture And Up Bringing
Just because something considers to be a norm in your upbringing doesn’t mean that they are normal.
For instance being a caretaker in the past, and putting some else’s needs first, might suggest that they are not important. Or being in an abusive relationship may leave someone feeling unworthy. It might even challenge them to give themselves permission to set a boundary. It will be normal for them to be taken advantage of. But keep that in mind, feelings are usually a good indicator of what’s missing there. Also sometimes your best friend’s point of view can help.
It’s also better to be aware of environmental imposes. Say you have a boss that pull pranks on other employees, just because no one takes a step to tell them that’s wrong, doesn’t make parking a normal behavior. Again it’s all about self-respect.
People aren’t mind reader we know that. On the other hand, this digital age makes them more distracted and therefore forgetful. setting those boundaries will take time. It’s just like creating a habit. Except for this time you have to draw the line over and over again. Don’t worry the good news is they’ll get it, and even if they don’t you may reconsider having interaction with them. Keep your distance or ignore them completely. That’s not your fault. Some people aren’t respectful, but don’t set a bad example by accepting being treated poorly.
This could help you to overcome your little problems to the bigger ones like coming out. You have an absolute right to pursue happiness and in doing so it’s necessary to love yourself first and foremost.